![]() ![]() It gives you the opportunity to check in and see how it both helps and hurts you to believe/feel/think a certain way. This technique highlights the impact negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviours have on your life, good and bad. However, asking yourself “what did I contribute?” as well as “what did others contribute?”, gives you the opportunity to learn from the experience, rather than use is as another reason to wallow in guilt.Īsk yourself: “What are the advantages of this thought being true and what are the disadvantages?” This is not to rid yourself completely of any responsibility– it may be that you did have a part to play in the outcome. Once you explore other possibilities and find out what the cause of the issue is, it becomes much easier to handle it. By looking at alternative causes, it allows you to see that your original, automatic thoughts and beliefs may be incorrect. This technique is particularly useful if you are prone to self-blame as it helps you explore other possibilities outside of your control. They can give you an objective view, with evidence, showing you that your negative thoughts are fairly inaccurate.Īsk yourself: “What else has contributed to this outcome?” I can assure you that if you ask those around you if these thoughts are true, if you actually are an incompetent human who messes up everything, they will you give you a million reasons as to why it’s not true and will even be completely baffled that you are thinking this way in the first place! This is because they can see things about you that you don’t or refuse to see yourself. Say you find that you consistently tell yourself that you are “incompetent” or “can never do anything right”. Ask your friends, family, work colleagues, or anyone in your life if they think your thoughts are true. This is quite a simple technique all you have to do it conduct a survey. Not only will this way of thinking reduce negative feelings that follow, but it also provides an opportunity for you to learn and grow from the situation.Īsk yourself: “Would other people agree with this thought?” Instead you’ll find yourself answering along the lines of “90%”, allowing yourself to see that some good had come from the situation. It’s likely you won’t answer “100%” because things are rarely 100% a catastrophe. Do this by breaking the situation or negative thought down into percentages: “On a scale of 0-100, how much of a disaster was this event?”. One way to combat this type of thinking, is to think in shades of grey. This can then lead to negative feelings such as shame, guilt, anxiety etc. Often, people who are prone to negative thinking tend to think in an all-or-nothing way you are either a complete success or a total failure, there is no in-between. Speaking to yourself in a comforting, encouraging way will not only avoid the bad feeling that follows negative self-talk, but may also give you the confidence to try again.Īsk yourself: “Am I looking at this in an all-or-nothing way?” Turn the compassion you use for your friends’ inwards and treat yourself like you treat those you love. Why is it okay for you to constantly berate yourself, call yourself awful names or tear yourself to shreds, when you would never, ever speak to a friend in that same way? If your friend also did not succeed at their desired task, would you start calling them a “loser” and tell them it’s “all their fault”? No, you would comfort and console them, remind them that they tried their best and help them to come up with another solution. ![]() Below are five sample techniques to help change the way you think and thus how you feel.Īsk yourself: “Would I say this to a close friend of mine?” Cognitive therapists have developed a range of evidence-based techniques to help you overcome negative thinking patterns. So, if you are thinking or believing negative things, such as “It is my fault, I can never do anything right”, you’re going to feel very bad about yourself too.įortunately, there are ways to combat these chronic, negative thinking patterns. Cognitive therapists believe that it is your thoughts and beliefs that create your feelings. However, for some, negative thoughts are much more frequent, automatic, and sometimes subtle, which then lead to problems such as anxiety, stress, guilt, depression, and low self-esteem, to name a few. Everyone is victim to negative thoughts from time to time, thoughts that are critical and usually self-defeating in nature. ![]()
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